100+ Good Roasts: Funny, Savage & Clever Comebacks

Looking for the best good roasts to spice up your conversations? Whether you want something funny, savage, clever, or playful, we’ve got you covered with over 100+ good roasts that work perfectly for friends, family, or even online banter.

These roasts are light-hearted and meant to be fun, so use them wisely to keep the humor flowing without hurting anyone’s feelings.

Good Roasts for Friends

1. You bring everyone so much joy… when you leave the room.
2. You have something on your chin… no, the third one down.
3. I’d explain it to you, but I left my crayons at home.
4. You’re proof that even evolution takes breaks.
5. Some drink from the fountain of knowledge—you only gargled.
6. If I wanted to kill myself, I’d climb up to your ego and jump down to your IQ.
7. You bring everyone together… to talk about how annoying you are.
8. You bring so little to the table, not even shade.
9. Your secrets are safe with me. I never listen when you tell them.
10. You bring balance to my life—like a headache and aspirin.

Funny Good Roasts

1. You’re like a cloud. When you disappear, it’s a beautiful day.
2. Brains aren’t everything. In your case, they’re nothing.
3. You’re like a software update—whenever I see you, I think, “Do I really need this?”
4. You’re like a math problem—annoying and hard to understand.
5. You’re like a cloud storage account… mostly empty.
6. You bring energy to the room—negative energy.
7. You’re like slow internet—frustrating and useless.
8. You’re like an exam—everyone hates you, but you’re unavoidable.
9. You’re like an ad pop-up—nobody wants you here.
10. You’re like a broken pencil—pointless.

Savage Good Roasts

1. You’re not stupid—you just have bad luck thinking.
2. You’re like a software bug—no one asked for you, but you’re still here.
3. You’re living proof that even mistakes can survive.
4. You’re like Monday—no one likes you.
5. You bring disappointment wherever you go.
6. You’re like an expired coupon—worthless.
7. You bring excuses, not results.
8. You’re like a loading screen—slow and annoying.
9. You’re like a broken clock—wrong twice a day.
10. You bring chaos, not charisma.

Clever Good Roasts

1. You have something most people don’t—unlimited stupidity.
2. You bring mystery to life… like how you still function.
3. You’re like a cloud of smoke—unwanted and suffocating.
4. You bring new meaning to the phrase “waste of space.”
5. You’re like a software license agreement—long, boring, and nobody cares.
6. You bring imagination to reality… only in your own head.
7. You’re like WiFi at a café—always weak when people need you most.
8. You bring suspense to life—will you say something smart? Probably not.
9. You’re like a password hint… useless and forgotten.
10. You bring everyone laughter—when you’re not around.

Good Roasts for Family

1. Mom said “follow your dreams”… so I went back to bed.
2. Dad jokes called—they want their lack of humor back.
3. You bring the whole family together… just to roast you.
4. I’d call you the black sheep, but that would be insulting to sheep.
5. You bring energy to the house—like a broken light bulb.
6. Even WiFi has a stronger connection than our family talks.
7. You’re the reason family dinners end early.
8. If laziness was a sport, you’d be the MVP.
9. You’re like leftovers—nobody really wants you, but here you are.
10. You bring more drama than the TV does.

Good Roasts for School or College

1. You’re the reason teachers need coffee.
2. If brains were graded, you’d still fail.
3. You bring group projects down like gravity.
4. Even detention doesn’t want your company.
5. You’re like a math problem—too many issues.
6. The cafeteria food has more flavor than your personality.
7. You bring nothing to class except noise.
8. You’re proof that attendance doesn’t equal learning.
9. You’re like an exam—everyone hates you, but you’re unavoidable.
10. If GPA stood for “Go Play Again,” you’d be on the honor roll.

Good Roasts for Siblings

1. I’m not saying you’re adopted, but even the dog looks more like mom and dad.
2. You’re like my shadow—annoying and always following me.
3. You bring chaos to the house like a walking tornado.
4. Even WiFi doesn’t drop as often as you do in life.
5. You’re the reason parents buy earplugs.
6. If sibling rivalry were an Olympic sport, you’d still lose.
7. You’re like a broken toy—useless and noisy.
8. Mom said “don’t fight”… but how can I resist when you exist?
9. You’re the test run before the good child came (me).
10. Even my phone battery lasts longer than your patience.

Short and One-Liner Good Roasts

1. You bring nothing but bad vibes.
2. Even your reflection avoids you.
3. You’re like Monday—nobody likes you.
4. Your brain is on airplane mode.
5. You bring less heat than a broken toaster.
6. You’re like a cloud—dark and always in the way.
7. If laziness had a face, it’d be yours.
8. You bring as much fun as homework.
9. You’re proof that evolution can go backwards.

10. You’re like expired milk—nobody wants you.